Writing a Good Letter to a Transsexual Woman
One of the more common letters I get is: "Hi, my name is John Doe. I visit Atlanta often, and was hoping to maybe meet you for dinner or a drink. Please let me know if you are interested".
That actually sounds nice in its intent, but considering it takes me about three hours to get ready "en fem", am I going to get excited about responding to it? The writer has the opportunity (via my web page) to know a lot about me. He tells me nothing about himself - except he'd like to meet for a drink. Time is a very precious to most girls (remember, we've got two lives to live!). Sharing it with someone has got to seem like it will be worthwhile!
Additional chapters Included in this section on this subject, include:
The Four Big Challenges with Finding a TS Girlfriend
Transsexual and Shemale Dating Websites
Transgender Chat Rooms
Writing a Good Letter to a Trans Woman
The Six Worst Things to Say to a TS
Other common openings?
If you wrote me - and you live in St Louis - I'll likely try to respond with a nice note - but I'm not really interested.
If you live in a nice vacation area - you might catch a gal's eye - if she's in the mood for a getaway.
If you travel to Atlanta. Oh, great. Just what I always wanted to be - a whore for a traveling executive.
I know it takes time to write a "heart felt" letter. I also know it feels frustrating to invest time, and not get a response. However, it takes an investment to get any sort of return. Most girls are very nice, and will respond to anyone who takes the time to write a sincere letter - regardless if they feel you are a good match.
If you are in sales, you already know the time and cost of getting a good lead. You know not to take a rejection personally, and you realize getting an account is a percentage ball game. This same attitude is helpful in finding a t-girl on line.
Improving Your On-Line Skills
Writing a girl like myself - who's not a pro means you have to sell something.
What are you selling? Namely, you.
How do you sell yourself on-line?
You'd be amazed at the number of lovely gals actively searching for that just right match for their needs. The problem? Most guys approach it totally wrong. There is a growing number of on-line personal ads that include transgenders. Some of you even requested I eventually include an on-line matching service. I wish I had the time - I don't.
What I am going to do is help you improve your chances of connecting with an ideal mate - by showing you better ways to do so. How am I going to do that? Simple. This past year - I saved a cross section of letters I received from on-line admirers. These are actual letters.
With each example - I'll summarize the strengths and weaknesses of each approach - and finally - what my response was to each inquiry.
Sound fun?
Let's do it...
the bad approaches
Following is excerpts from actual letters I received and my commentary regarding the thoughts and actions they evoked on my part.
Letter # 1
hi babe,
Would love to lick that sweet ass of yours as you suck on my hot throbbing dick.
chet
Commentary
Can you believe people actually send these letters - and actually expect some form of response? Sadly, it still happens - a lot. What happens? These individuals get all "worked up" looking at photos of t-girls - then get off by sending such a note. I assume others actually believe we might reply.
People like this - are living in a fantasy. Who might respond? A beginning crossdresser / transvestite that's equally excited by her new found femininity. Reality? They'll probably never meet. It's a fantasy.
Renee's Response: Delete button.
Letter # 2. The "cut & clip" letter.
No mention of anything personal from my ad. You drafted this standard letter and mailed it to 1,000 girls. We know what these are…
Renee's Response: Delete button.
Letter #3. I, I, I...
I know this is what I want. I think you’re the one for me…
Too many I’s? I - could care less…
Renee's Response: Delete button.
Letter #4. I’m Writing a Book
Some guys write a seven page letter at the onset explaining everything about their desire and where it started. We’re not your therapist and don’t want to hear all this at the onset.
Renee's Response: Delete button.
Other Common Mistakes
a. No Spell Check - In the absence of physical communication - your "letter" is you. Nothing will tend to cause a downward glance faster than extensively misspelled words and poor grammar. As a group, transgenders usually are usually quite intelligent.
b. I'm a really nice guy - Fine - you're committed emotionally but you have no idea where you're going.
c. I'll be visiting ATL soon... Great, an out of towner on his big tranny adventure. I live here, I do this all the time. . Jack Lemon. On your big tranny hunting quest. Sorry hon - I don't do nooners - call a pro.
c. I live on Mars but we're perfect for one another. I can barely keep up with my regular emails.
c. Here's my picture but no other details - Great, you're cute. Now do I have time to go through the twenty questions routine...
c. I live in ATL. attracted to t-girls - you're lovely. Thanks for letting me know you're a beginner. An experienced guy would know the spots, etc.
c. We have a lot in common - If you go somewhere with this? Often a good idea!
g. Invisible Man - Writes good letter, I respond, we write back & forth. Then: he vanishes - only to reappear months later. This tells me that you write when you get horny. And you'll treat me in the same manner - no matter how I might have needs.
Language That Often Works
I'd love to meet you when I visit on your terms. Dinner? Dancing? A quiet evening. (Very smart - leave it open to her lifestyle).
I visit fairly often, so at the very least - we can just say "hi" and see if there are any sparks. (Making it clear he's looking for more than a one night stand - I'm still reading)
If you could suggest how we might meet - I'd be honored to share your company. Very, very smart. Leave it to her to decide how & where - you can always veto an unappealing
scenario.
Leave off the "why I'm attracted to t-girls - I wanna know why you find ME appealing. I'm not a committee.
I have other commitments - but will do my best to make time for you…much better than saying I”m very busy
If you're married - this is usually good to share as soon as practical. She'll appreciate your honesty up front more than she'll dislike the fact you're not exclusively available. However, most single trans-gals aren’t looking for a married boyfriend unless its a pay-date deal.
The best approach?
What’s the best approach? First off: pay attention to her criteria: geography, etc. If you’re not in her zone: you probably won’t get anywhere. Second? Be sincere. Third? Talk about her: tell her she’s lovely but expand the conversation to your shared interests.
Following is a summary of what worked well from a guy I met on-line and really liked. HIs approach was almost flawless…
We had a lot in Common - Most admirers assume the fact I'm a t-girl - and you are attracted to t-girls - means we have something in common. It means little. As you look though a gals home page, I'm quite sure you are trying to discover any point of common ground - if she's a knock out. However, you will likely only have a "chance" - if there is real common ground.
He didn't focus on the t-thing - I know I'm a trrans-girl. You know I'm a t-girl. My entire home page talk about t-girls. Did it ever occur to you I might get sick of talking about t-girls? Michael talked about life interests, hobbies, outlooks, politics - and our mutual family ties (we both have Labrador retrievers). We talked about transgender issues - but not right off the start.
He responded in kind - Nothing is more discerning than writing a long letter to someone, only to have them answer a major question with yeah, me too. Michael took the time to share as much of his detailed feelings on items I obviously considered important.
He kept things moving forward - Sometimes an on line friendship reaches a point of where is this going? Busy people like Renee have little time to "waste". Constantly bring up new discussion issues, ending letters with questions, and a great sense of humor that made his letters a pleasure to read played a key role in singling himself from the pack.
He kept beauty as a footnote - Like any gal, I enjoy hearing I look good in someone else's eyes. But so many letter's focus on a constant triage about how this I am or that I am - and they don't know me from Eve. It really leaves me no place to go in responding. I know I'm not perfect (well, almost perfect) - LOL) Making me feel like I would need to be to be around you - is not very appealing.